V-Day = D-Day

It's starting. I see it everywhere now. It is invading our homes and our stores. It is only a matter of time before it destroys our minds. It is the invasion of pink, red, hearts, and all things Valentine related. Small naked babies carrying weapons is suddenly acceptable. It is even encouraged to have improperly trained toddlers shooting off arrows tipped in who knows what at people. Fuck that.

Valentines' Day is one of the most dreaded "holidays" of the year. I don't even think it is a real holiday. It is the most pathetic Hallmark holiday there is. It is just to boost sales of cards and chocolates and flowers. Maybe jewelry too. Fuck if I know or care. I think Valentines' Day is the dumbest holiday there is ever. I have been single and in a relationship on the day and it doesn't matter, I still think it is stupid.

All the day does it put pressure on people and make people feel bad about themselves. To everyone single, it is just a day to acknowledge they are alone. And to try to find someone willing to be their valentine-- whether this means going on a date, exchanging chocolates, or just hanging out together. And if they can't find anyone, they can watch a sappy rom com all by themselves. Doesn't that sound like an exhilarating day? Even when you claim you don't care about the day, you still are secretly cursing every couple you see holding hands and thinking to yourself Get a fucking room already. In some cases it has been shouted (by me).
     Then for the people in relationships: why the fuck do they need to exchange gifts? It's like Hey. Here's my effort for the year since the people have decided to just name one day to be romantic. Just like with Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day. Why do you need a special to day to show someone you care? Just be awesome all the time instead of just once.  So much pressure is then put on a guy to make sure that he is so romantic and plan an adorable date. Is it really that important to go out to a fancy dinner? No it isn't. No need to waste money on that. Just go out some other time. You won't have to put in a reservation or wait an extended period of time to be seated.

I mean I understand having a (Hallmark) day to celebrate someone like your mom. Shower her with love and praise (assuming your mom didn't beat you or anything like that. If she did, my sympathies). But a day to celebrate being in a relationship? Or Romance? Cheesy alert: Shouldn't you celebrate that everyday just like you should celebrate each day of life? No need to rub it in everyones' face.

Also, this is not a day that allows PDA to become acceptable. You cannot start making out in the middle of the sidewalk or start feeling each other up. Great. We get it. Now get the fuck away before my eyes burn out.

The only good thing about Valentines' Day was back in elementary school when we made mailboxes and had a party and everyone gave each other candy. Because we were young and dumbasses we didn't really get the whole love thing. V-Day is just an exploitation of the American consumeristic lifestyle of how we always need material possessions (presents) and how we love to eat (chocolate/candy) and things that show off wealth or are glittery (jewelry). Basically, it's a girls day. But only for girls in relationships. Because what do guys get? Blown if they're lucky.

Jellies in real life

So over break I got to go to the aquarium, which is one of my favorite places. There is the special exhibit there called "Jellies." Obviously, I had to see it. I mean come on, my blog is about sea jellies. And I love biology and marine life so it's obvious that I wanted to see it.
      Oh and let me say this. My high school biology teacher liked to remind us that sea jellies are not fish. They are not jellyfish. That is not real. That's just ignorance. I mean that's why I titled by blog appropriately.
So I enter the exhibit and there are moon jellies there.

There was just a tank in the middle of the room that people were gathered around look at all the jellies. And sometimes I have an issue of not keeping my mouth shut. Sometimes I just mutter things that I think I just think and don't say but it turns out I say my thoughts aloud. This is one of those times. There was a mom and her son standing in front of me as we were looking at the jellies. She goes "Look! Look at the fish just floating around in the water." I was so annoyed with incorrect labeling that I mumbled "They aren't fish they're sea jellies."  Apparently I didn't say it quietly enough. The mom then very quickly went "Well they aren't really fish. I'm not really sure what they are exactly." Realizing she corrected herself because of me I was embarrassed and briskly walked around to the other side of the tank and hid by the wall until the family continued further into the exhibit.

Lesson learned: my lack of discretion can cause awkward and entertaining moments.

This is mine.

Some bitch just took my seat. I've been sitting in the same seat all semester. Sure this is just the end of the second week of the semester but this is a small class. There are only 30 students. It's not difficult to miss my seat. It's righ behind a spot where the wall sticks put so I can hide my phone. That way I can text or play temple run or something until I start learning something new.

But oh no. This dumbass international Chinese bimbo with poorly dyed hair thinks its okay to take my clearly already called seat. Back the fuck off chick. If you're in my seat on Monday I will cut a bitch and that bitch will be you.

Get your sweat on.

I understand wanting to look good. It's nice to look attractive or at least feel attractive. And this is usually a big deal for girls. Or at least they seem to try the most on their appearances. But I just don't understand designer sweats.

I had a discussion about this a few years ago with a temporary friend (she turned out to be a vain shallow bitch and we no longer talk). We were talking about comfortable clothes and naturally starting talking about sweatpants and such. She said she wears sweatpants all the time and looks like a slob when she does. I told her she doesn't own a pair of sweatpants.
        Growing up a tomboy I played a lot of sports. In high school I mainly played volleyball and soccer. But for both, we always ordered team warm-up pants or hoodies or things like that. All just the basic loose fitting pants. Nothing tight and nothing brand name. All the comfy pants I own are like that. And I'm totally okay with that.
                 But this girl spent her days in high school working at Abercrombie and Fitch. So all the sweats that she owned are fancy and very fitting in a way that is supposed to be very flattering. They hug the body tight on all the curves and show off the ass. They have rhinestone designs on them and advertise whatever brand they are boldly showing.

These are not real. These do not make you look like you put no effort into your wardrobe.  What is the point of these?

Also, if you are dressing down and going to wear sweats all day, why did you spend 20 minutes doing your makeup and another 20 minutes styling your hair so that it says "I just rolled out of bed and I look like this"? If you are showing that you put in no effort your outfit then why do anymore than simple mascara or something? Jesus ladies, you don't need to coat on layers of foundation and liners and shit. If you can put in 20 minutes to do your face, you can spend 5 minutes putting on a normal outfit.

EXCEPTIONS: going to workout. But then you shouldn't have layers of makeup on. You'll just sweat it off and look like a dumb bimbo you stupid slut.

Look good not like a tramp. The new tramp stamp? Your face. And the loads of crap you shove on it.

My seat.

It's been a while since I've posted anything. Mostly, over the last month, I have just been sitting around on my lazy ass watching movies and have not really had anything happen in my life. At least anything worth blogging or ranting about. But then again, half this shit I write isn't worthy of being written I just do it anyways.

So this is something that has always pissed me off. All lecture halls are tiered so that the great mass of fresh mind ready for molding can view the heavily accented professor in the front of the room. Well guess what bitch. If I have been sitting in my seat for a good 5 minutes before you walk in, I still don't want you to sit in front of me. Who cares if I can still see. My fucking foot is using that damn chair as a foot rest. Very clearly I'm doing this. So no, I do not want you to start sitting there and I have to keep my feet on the ground. I like having a foot or two propped up. Plus, my shoes are wet. So I hope you sit in a fucking puddle of nasty water. That is what you get for taking that seat. Especially when, as I look around the room, there are entire rows empty.

BAHAHAHAHA side note. Some guy just slipped down the stairs. He was so close to full on wipe out. And he knew it too. He was so lucky that this is the balcony and he was at the wall there so he couldn't go anywhere else. He even paused after the slip recognizing how close he was to embarrassment in front of... 24 people. Oh I love snowy days.

But still. If there are many seats open just get the Hell away from the ones I'm using. I've got plenty of other friends who agree. If there's availability elsewhere, take it. Or I'll passively bitch about you the whole class just loud enough for you to hear but quiet enough to make it seem like I'm trying to be discrete. So I'll just put my foot up on the seat next to you awkwardly close to your face. Hopefully I'm wearing sandals or flats and my feet are all sweaty and smelly. Yeah, not going to sit in front of me again are you. Yes that is a threatening statement and not a question. Deal with it.


I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to end these now. I want to get a new page-a-day calendar but I've no way to get to a Barnes and Noble. Interwebs ordering maybe. Well, that's all.

The holidays are over.

For some reason, the holidays seem to have a magical effect on most people. Myself included. We all get cheery and happy and want to reconnect with everyone we know and be content. We forgive some for whatever they have done for the sake of family or friendship. Now that the holidays are over, I am properly prepared to finally write about something I have been meaning to get off my chest. And no I'm not talking about my shirt.

I pride myself on being a pretty loyal and respectful person. I'm a Cubs fan so there's some proof of at least that first part (THIS IS THE YEAR!). And if I'm ever wrong or I'm not living up to reasonable friend expectations, my friends know to say something to me or if it's at the extreme, just to walk up and slap me. Since I'm not often slapped I will know what they are saying with their hand. If I have a friend call me or say that they need help, I drop whatever I'm doing (if I can) and go to them. I always have my friends' back even if it's something little. Here are some issues that I have with people not being...  decent humans.

First, if I have reason to believe that when you say "Hey we should hang out" you really mean it, I actually set aside time for you. If you give a specific day then I clear my schedule. Like if you say "We should catch up on Thursday" then I will make sure mentally that I'm free when I agree with you and then turn down any other offers of getting together with anyone else. So you better fucking show up on Thursday. I can't stand it when you find something better to do with someone else that you planned and overlapped it. Sure if it was going to be a bad time, I would've been okay with it. Things come up. I get it. BUT DON'T TRY TO RAIN CHECK ME 30 MINUTES BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO MEET UNLESS YOU HAVE A DAMN GOOD REASON. Have some decency to at least cancel so that I have enough time to go out with people who care.

Second, if you have a problem with me just say it. If you come to me and say to my face what your issue is, I have a lot more respect for you even if we are not friends or it's becoming a heated argument. There are plenty of people I don't like but that doesn't mean we can't act civilized. When people, especially those who say that they are friends, can't come forward to say what's wrong to me and have to go around behind my back or tattle on me and not fess up I have a problem. Even worse is when something is speculated and then people start spreading rumors or talking shit and it comes back to me. And it always does. That's when I get shitty. You want to clarify something with me first? Just fucking ask because I'm a pretty honest person and will probably just fill you in so you don't have to act like a little bitch. When I have a problem with someone or I'm mad, I don't try to hide it. If you have done something that pisses me off so much that I won't be over it the next day, you will know. If you just mildly piss me off and I'll get over it real fast then I won't say anything since it isn't worth it. I've learned to pick my battles. And they are few and far between.


Respect.
Get it and give it.

"I do all my own nude scenes."