Floridian Break

So this past week I was down in Florida enjoying my vacation from school and reality. There were 8 of us who went drove down, obviously sharing rides there since it was a 19-21 hour drive each way. We had plenty of time to chat (or sleep). But when we finally got down there, the sun was shining and the beach was calling.

 

We decided to get settled in and unpack since it was late afternoon and we would hit up the beach the next day. But we got together our stock of bottles for the week for a picture. And we almost ran out of everything pictured here! 

 

We went out the first night to get a feel for the area and see the bars our friends usually go to. I always forget that the real world has expensive drinks. Because most of us were exhausted from the drive, we turned in early. We started off the next morning with a 90's power hour that had us set for the afternoon. And when we coined the phrase "violently burped." This is apparently not throwing up, just burping up the foam from all your beer. Most of the days consisted of hanging out on the beach (with my trusted bottle pictured below) and going out to bars at night. There is always drama when so many people are living in close quarters for a week. But that won't get mentioned here.

 I tend to be the person who takes all the candid pictures so I found myself lacking in all not-posed pictures. I didn't even get any with my sexy new swimsuit. Maybe next time someone else will take a lot of pictures instead of me. Oh well.

Here is my beach bottle. And yes those are fishies swimming along the bottom!

 This is the beach we played on. And the old men we played with! They had a cornhole/baggos set that we challenged them to a game with. We lost. But it was hilarious. They asked if there was alcohol in my blue bottle. I said plenty and I got a high five.

On one of the days we went to a firefighter show where they raise money for charity. And they lip-synced or sang and danced. The old women lined up to shove singles down their pants. And everyone was hoping that sexy man on the left would gyrate on them like he did on a 70 year old lady's face.

This was just one of the signs we passed almost every night we went out. And if you know me at all, you know my love of bacon. So I just had to take a picture of it. I wish I had taken more pictures of the bars we were at or the delicious food we ordered but got too caught up in what was going on. I only seem to have pictures with friends and I'm sure they don't want to be put on here so here is just one by myself enjoying the night!

Stranger conversations 1

I was out the other  night with a few friends and on the way home we decided to pick up some McDonald's. I'm a little disgusted with the amount I ate but it was delicious. While I was waiting for my order I had a conversation with a guy there which has now got me thinking. 

Do we thrive on being hit on? I personally don't think so. But our conversation was about different bars on campus and which one was best. We agreed on the ultimate best bar (Harry's) but this is where it got interesting. A few bars have become hotspots for the Greek community to drink at. Being that I'm GDI and do not care to participate in said community (read this) I tend to avoid those bars on certain nights. Also I think their drink specials are just bullshit (I'll post later about this).  This fellow, however, placed one of the bars Brothers at the top of his list. I said how I didn't like going there too often and he started to argue for it. I asked him if he was in a frat or GDI. He looked down at the ground and mumbled he was in a frat. It was rather shameful the way he said it. Almost like he was embarrassed (he's a delta sig for anyone curious). But I said that's why he likes going to Brothers so much. He tried to get me on board with ranking Brothers higher with the dumbest argument.

He said that I should like going there because of the large amount of frat guys to hit on me. I said that is the exact reason I don't like going. He insisted that everyone likes to be flirted with and hit on. And sure to a certain degree people do. But when I'm in a relationship, I rather look to my boyfriend for that attention not drunk strangers in a bar. He countered that by saying ex-girlfriends of his still liked getting all done up and having other guys put their moves on them and he liked it when pretty girls would come up and flirt with him. I think there's a good reason that they're all exes.

The thing is, I don't feel like I'd need a self esteem boost from drunk frat boys hitting on me. Often I just feel dirty. And if you have the looks that guys are literally drooling on you, it won't matter where you are. They are still going to try to talk you up and buy you drinks. So that kind of voided this guy's whole argument. Then my order was ready. This guy tried to convince me to come sit with him and his friends instead of my boyfriend and my friends. Really fratster? Just back off.

It just makes me wonder about how much people wish to be desired. To what extent do people go to achieve that feeling? If you are in a relationship, you shouldn't feel the need to go to bars you know are full of drunks trying to score all the time. You should feel content and confident without that. I don't often suggest going to Brothers because I'd rather not worry about jerks trying to make moves. I don't go out to get hit on, I go out to have fun with my friends.

And here's a funny thing. Last night I was at Brothers meeting up with some people. I was at the bar waiting to get a drink when I saw someone next to me I recognized. We said hello and his friend introduced himself. We chatted a bit while we waited for the bartender and both realized how much we'd rather be at a different bar, preferably one over the river. It's so refreshing to find others who feel the same way. And he didn't even try hitting on me.

Couples are better

Now up until recently, I would completely disagree with the title of this post. Despite the fact I am in a committed relationship, I would still surround myself with single friends. Most of them were women and we would go out together all the time. I guess I could describe them as more free? And then I would get to play match maker and wingman. And let me tell you something... I make a fucking great awesome fantastic spectacular wingman. I can work it for the ladies and the fellas. If you need to get it in or something like that, I can help. But I digress.

So single people are supposed to be more WiLd and crazy right?! Well that doesn't seem to be the case any longer. Here is my theory based on experience:

Single people fall into a few different categories. These include: 1) people looking to sleep around and play the field 2) people looking for only serious relationships and 3) people satisfied to be single (with their cat/dog) and not looking to date. The majority of these people are still looking to impress someone of the opposite sex. If they look too crazy, it would most likely scare some sexy stranger away. Unless that person was also naturally crazy. People in relationships already know that the other person can be crazy or something like that. And they accept them for it. So it's okay to be crazy.

For example, last weekend shit got real. Couples all went out for drinks. I joined post work and found jager bombs waiting for me once I arrived. All I have to say is party with couples who are extremely comfortable with loose boundaries. The boundaries that push physical, mental, and emotional lines into an area that some might find uncomfortable. Others might find entertaining. Or weird.

Let's just say, there could be any of the following: stripping (of several sorts), blackout pizza buys, streaking, girl on girl hickies, free shots, and more.

Fun with the roommate

Tonight, I stayed in with one of the roommates. I have classes cancelled tomorrow and my first and only class is at 2:30. So had I considered going out and getting a drink but it just seemed like too much effort and not worth it. So I became the guinea pig.

My roomie loves to do hair and makeup but with my hair having been so short she has been stuck with just doing my face. We forgot to take before and after pictures... next time we will don't worry. But so she came home with lots of new makeup and hair product and decided I was the lucky victim. And after a rough week, a nice little makeover was much needed. So I got the works: face basics, eyes, and lips. And then some va-va-voom hair. It's just a shame that I had nowhere to go after my look was finished and now I have to take it all off to go to sleep.

Getting drunk at 7 am

So here at school we have this great tradition of getting belligerently hammered off our asses at 7 am before home football games. It is one of the best things about this school. I mean year we're all smart and shit like that, but us bitches know how to through it down. Let me explain...

I am not quite sure who or how this tradition started. It is called Breakfast Club. All of the campus bars open at 7 am to welcome all those of age to come and get drunk before tailgating. Or instead of tailgating. You may say, well that's pretty cool but nothing awesome. Sir, you are incorrect. I haven't gotten to the best part yet. Each morning you go to get wasted at 7 am, you dress up. For example, this weekend I was an 80's jazzerciser (See below).

Clearly not a professional costume. And most aren't. This is not like the costume you find out and about on Halloween. At least for the ladies. Men tend to dress up in the same garb regardless of what the occasion is. Unless you find one who is uber creative. But for the women who venture out on Halloween in sexy outfits, your costumes are made fun of here. Breakfast Club is not for those trying to look sexy or hot. It is more about creativity and being clever than trying to show off some skin. I mean if your clever costume just happens to show skin then there is still approval. But if you are trying to be a sexy cop, then save it for the bedroom. Costumes I saw Saturday morning include: cereal characters, the workaholics cast, mail order brides (in bubblewrap), the Rugrats, s'mores, little bo peep and her sheep.

I'm looking forward to the next home game so I have an excuse to wake up at 5:30 am to finish putting my costume together. Also, if you have great costume ideas let me know. I have a list going. It's lengthy and I'm excited (that's what she said).

Seizure dancing.

I wish dancing wasn't so stupid nowadays. Yeah I totally just want to grind my ass up on a dick all night long. That sounds like exactly what I want to do. I need a dance break... QUICK! WHERE CAN I GYRATE MY BODY?!

Okay okay sometimes I'm down for that. But have you ever watched Grease and been like damn, I wish we did that. That had some good moves. A guy and gal dancing together face to face without crotches touching?! What?!?

Yeah I think it's fun. I know basic salsa moves and wish I knew more. It is so much more fun than grinding. If you think your ass rubbing on someone's crotch is sexy, just imagine the heat and passion involved in salsa for a second. You not knowing where the dance will lead you as you follow his moves. Spinning around, twisting and turning, freedom to move and close to each other but not breaking the boundary between each other. Now that's hot.

But what about when you don't have a partner?

The other night I went to the Avicii concert. I would say that I'm kind of a closet club head. I really do like techno. I've been to concerts for techno artists like Groove Coverage and been to a few clubs in my day. I don't often get to let that side of my out. So when I got a free ticket, I was overjoyed. Thank the lord baby Jesus I was only with 1 other person I knew there. Because I promise you, I looked like a freak.

The concert was not in an auditorium or place with open floor space. There were seats everywhere. Assigned seats, but if you're just two attractive girls moving your body people will pretty much just let you go wherever you want. So we got about 10 rows closer than our tickets. But what I was saying was that there were seats preventing much physical interaction between human beings. And trust me, I needed the space.
               I am dead sure the Koreans next to me and frat boys behind me thought I was having seizures the entire night. When I can feel music in my body, you know, when the bass comes through the speakers and travels into your skin and around your body into your heart, I die. Almost. And boy oh boy, when that bass drops, I cannot be held responsible for the movement my body makes. My body was shaking and my hips were rocking. My arms were pounding and flying around. I had goosebumps. I could've just been at the concert by myself and rocked out like I did and not have cared at all. I got to let loose in a way very few people have actually seen. Because I look like I'm having some sort of attack and my body is breaking.

Not really sure how this all connects. Definitely don't care. But next time you see some tall bitch having a standing seizure, rest assured that she is actually dancing. And it's probably me.

21.

Wow. Now that's a party. It doesn't matter if you try to pace yourself, you're screwed no matter what.
I hit up the bars for my 21st birthday. There was a pretty large crowd that went out with me and since the bars weren't that busy, we took up a lot of space. Everyone I knew there wanted to buy me a drink. I wanted to have a good night and be able to remember it all. Everyone else wanted me praying to the porcelain gods. I spaced out the drinks I had as much as I could, but they were just lining up so fast. This is how I started my night:

 It was great. I was looking fresh to death. I had my best friends all with me. Then more and more people started to show up. More and more drinks lined up. We made it to two bars. Then we all dissipated as the bars closed and I went home. It was a rough night. This is how the night ended:

I'm not sure how it has happened that on your 21st birthday you must drink until you drop. I'm not sure I'm thrilled with it. I'm just glad that I have the ability to go wherever I want when I want. Expect some crazy stories for the rest of April. I deem this month: April Apocalypse. We shall see if I survive.

Last underage post...!

Of course this weekend has to be extremely busy. And I have a thousand things I should be doing right now. I have exams I need to be studying for. I have other homework that needs to get done. I could nap even despite the 11 hours of twice interrupted sleep I have. I really should clean my room since it is very gross. But alas, nothing is quite as interesting to me as blogging right now.

I am preparing for a very exciting day. Soon, I shall be 21. Most of my friends are already 21 and have been for a while. So they would get to go out on the weekends and get into places I could not. It was annoying but I got used to it. It only would still piss me off when it would prevent me from following through with plans.

    I did not go on spring break with friends because I would be younger than them all and that would prevent them from going out to bars and clubs at night since I couldn't get it. They could do whatever they wanted and I would be the anchor attached to their ankles holding them back. So instead of being the annoying bitch, I stayed home.
    The other time that it pissed me off was on Saint Patrick's Day. All I wanted to do was have some authentic Irish food for lunch and enjoy some Irish music. That was all. But the Irish restaurant/pub decided that it was going to be 21 and over. Starting at noon. NOON. Do you have any idea how many people they must've had to turn away? Because they can't let in a family with small children and turn away me. Because I was turned away. So no I did NOT get any Irish food on Saint Patrick's Day-- I got Panera. Which is good but not what I wanted.

But now I will be able to go to any restaurant and any show any time I want. I won't have any age restrictions on me any more. I could go to a bar to see a concert. I can eat dinner in a pub. That's one of the things I look forward to the most. To have the freedom and the choice to go where I want when I want. Because it is different than not wanting to go somewhere and coincidentally not being able to go to the place and just having the choice not to go.

So here I go: into the final days before freedom. I'll post again from the other side. Wish me the luck I'll need to survive the night. I won't let go Jack!

Oh drunk people.

So one of my favorite things to do is fuck with drunk people. Especially when they are super drunk or blacked out and I am sober. The dumb shit they say is hilarious.

I dedicate this post to the silly ho that is my roommate. A few weeks ago was her 21st birthday and so she went out at midnight. So yes I messed around with her as soon as she came back from the bars approximately 90 minutes later. But I dick around with all friends when they are intoxicated because they have stupid funny responses.

I find that drunk kids are unusually naive. Even if they are very stubborn and realistic when sober, they tend to believe things more easily which makes it so much more fun to converse with them. I lie to them all the time and tell extreme stories to see how much I can get them to believe. Which is a lot. Fucking idiots.

But my favorite moments are when it becomes a no pants party. Such was the case last weekend. I was in my friends' room with his roommates and a few other people talking and telling stories. When I walked out into the main area of the apartment, I noticed people laughing (not surprising) but then boys quickly pulling up their pants. We joked around about that and then oops there they go again. Hey man, nice blue boxers. The funny thing about this is that the people dropping they pants often forget to take them off completely and have them around their ankles. This provides perfect opportunities to get them to run/dance/hop/etc. and watch them fall flat on their faces. Of course these are all people I am friends with so we don't mind a good chuckle amongst us as long as no one gets seriously hurt (and for the record, I have great first aid abilities should it come down to that). Well, one of them was a guy with a busted leg anyways. Like he uses a cane (but I'm too nervous to ask what happened that he needs it) and so its just more humorous. I also slapped him, but neither of us remember why.

Funny enough, I've walked into that apartment before to find people playing kings in their underwear. Boy oh boy did they turn pink. I just laughed my ass off. I love when people get on that level. It's just anatomy guys, we've all seen it before. So don't worry.

But the worst drunk people are the people who want to drink away a person. Like if someone is in a fight with their significant other or something. Because when they reach the level that is required for people to go into no-pants parties they go into whining about their life mode. And won't stop. Suddenly everything is about them and their problems and we all want to hear about it. And when we are talking, it must be about them. But it's always really exaggerated things or unrealistic situations but still they think it's all plausible due to their drunkenness. I hear it from boys and I hear it from girls.

If you ever plan on pulling one of these on me, give me fair warning so I can get to your level so I can bitch with you. If you're going to take off your pants, no warning is needed. Some surprises are just fucking hilarious.

Jellies in real life

So over break I got to go to the aquarium, which is one of my favorite places. There is the special exhibit there called "Jellies." Obviously, I had to see it. I mean come on, my blog is about sea jellies. And I love biology and marine life so it's obvious that I wanted to see it.
      Oh and let me say this. My high school biology teacher liked to remind us that sea jellies are not fish. They are not jellyfish. That is not real. That's just ignorance. I mean that's why I titled by blog appropriately.
So I enter the exhibit and there are moon jellies there.

There was just a tank in the middle of the room that people were gathered around look at all the jellies. And sometimes I have an issue of not keeping my mouth shut. Sometimes I just mutter things that I think I just think and don't say but it turns out I say my thoughts aloud. This is one of those times. There was a mom and her son standing in front of me as we were looking at the jellies. She goes "Look! Look at the fish just floating around in the water." I was so annoyed with incorrect labeling that I mumbled "They aren't fish they're sea jellies."  Apparently I didn't say it quietly enough. The mom then very quickly went "Well they aren't really fish. I'm not really sure what they are exactly." Realizing she corrected herself because of me I was embarrassed and briskly walked around to the other side of the tank and hid by the wall until the family continued further into the exhibit.

Lesson learned: my lack of discretion can cause awkward and entertaining moments.