Eskihoes galore

It's when the weather turns like this that you start to see the rare Eskihoes emerge. I have studied these creatures for a while now. Never have I seen a male of these beings, only females. There is one main way to identify these unique individuals: look for the girls with short shorts or mini skirts and Ugg boots on. It may not need to be Uggs per say- just any type of cold weather boots.

Here is my problem with Eskihoes: If it's warm enough to be showing off your entire leg then why the hell do you need to wear heavy boots? And if it's going to be cold enough to wear warming boots, why the fuck do you have on booty showing clothes?

What is even the point of wearing those boots? You are just going to go home or a friends' apartment and take off your shoes. And because it is warm enough to be wearing your skanky outfits, that means it's warm enough to make your feet sweat. STINKY FEET. So you look sleazy and smell like an elephant just shit on a skunked wet dog. NONE of this is attractive. It was a good try, dumb bitch, but you still are having a huge no-no moment. I don't care if you even took 30 min to style your hair to make it seem like you just rolled out of bed. It. Does. Not. Work.

Another thing I don't understand. Shorts with leggings or tights. The same principle applies. If you can wear shorts and you want to wear shorts, why do you need an extra layer covering the rest of your legs? You look like a 5 year attempting to dress herself for the first time. Just put on a pair of pants. Or wear a dress/shirt that is long enough to wear with just leggings/tights. You don't make sense and look foolish.

If you ever see me in such an outfit, please slit my throat.

"Girl, that's not a makeover. That's a cry for help!"