Oct 11, 2011

Out of the way!

How do people not know how to walk? I don't mean that they cannot physically move their legs and put each foot in front of each other on repeat. I mean when they have to interact with other beings moving, they are unable to comprehend logic.

Let's say there is a thin sidewalk and there are 2 of you walking side by side creating a moving wall. Just chatting it up about den pops or how you have a wedgie and if it's clear to pick it. You both are looking forward as you are walking and here I am walking towards you. Appropriately moving along the right edge of the sidewalk. Since movement along a walking path is similar to driving, stay on the right side and pass on the left. Foreigners: adjust faster. Just open your eyes and follow what everyone else does. Crimeney.

Anyways. So here we are.
Me versus the two of you. We have made awkward eye contact. You know I am here and we're on a collision course. AND YOU DON'T MOVE. What the Hell? Where I am I supposed to go? Do I really have to be forced to get off the path into the street or something because you are rude enough that you can't stop walking next to each other instead of just walking in a line for 10 seconds?

But really you can't even blame a certain race or ethnicity or anything like that because everyone is always so rude.

But the worst are the slow walkers. Damn dude I'm trying to get to my destination in a timely manner and you might as well just be crawling or slithering around. But for some reason I cannot get around you because you are conveniently walking in my way at a speed that I cannot walk around you without running into someone going the opposite direction. I just can't stand it. If you are going to slowly morph into a snail, please do it not in the middle of the sidewalk you dumb turd.

"I'm not just going to Hell. I'm going to Hell on a full scholarship."

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