I'm in the stacks studying for exams I have tomorrow. I have my laptop because I have study materials saved on here and in case I need to look something up I can access the Internet easily. But when I'm reading my own notes or printed out review materials, my laptop goes to my screensaver. I love my screensaver. It starts with one of my pictures and zooms out, adding more pictures together into a collage that makes up a picture of mine. The final picture focuses and zooms out and repeats. That might be a bad description but it's the best I can do for this. But it shows me old pictures, recent addition, anything from my screensaver folder.
As I looked up from my lab notebook, the current picture forming was of me and a bunch of older friends I have. It made me smile and then almost instantly sad. All of them have graduated and either moved home or to where their new job is based. All of my older friends are gone, I am now the older friend. I have become the friend getting ready to graduate in the spring and leave all the undergrads. They will skim pictures and see me and remember how things were when I was in college. They will wonder what I'm doing with my life and ask when I can come back and visit. I always ask my graduated friends to come visit and I'll make time for them but they are always too busy with work or graduate/professional school. I am only 7 months away from that. 7 months away from being too busy to see college friends. 7 months away from entering the real world where you pay taxes and can't find a decent drink under $10. 7 months away from being on my own.
Is anyone else secretly terrified like I am? I cannot wait to start my final semester of college and dread the day after graduation.
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