Super happy =)

So this is round 2. I thought everything I had typed had saved. Turns out it didn't. So I'll just retype it. And it still doesn't affect my mood. But that's mostly how the girl sitting next to me keeps saying "awk" and then is about to start crying because the pituitary gland looks like testicles in some drawing. Oh God...

So this is going to be happy, short and sweet. Weird, I know. I never do posts like these. I'm just having such a fucking fabulous day.

I woke and got myself going. I had to go meet with the lab tech for the research project I joined for next semester. Me and another undergrad were meeting to get some basic training and meet the current pigs in the study: Cutlet, Meatball, Bacon, Sausage, and Porkchop. They get sacrificed next Friday. But I'm so excited to get started on this work and I like all the people that I've met with so far. Then I went back to my apartment and had the best damn pumpkin bread ever courtesy of my mother. You want some? Too bad. I don't share. Sucks to suck, huh?  But so then I looked out my window and saw IT'S SNOWING! I LOVE IT! I mean I sawed down our family Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving and now with this snow, it's just really putting me in the holiday spirit. And I can just tell that the rest of the day is going to go well too because of the plans I have.

I'm just in a really great mood that I feel like I could go around kissing everyone. So look out world: Kissing Kate is on the loose.

"Note to self: never fart in a tanning bed."

We rely on technology too much.

A few days ago, I busted my iPhone. It was still functioning for the most part but no longer had the speaker working for me to hear calls unless it was on "speaker" or "headphone" mode. Oh and it would no longer accept a charge. So it died. This all happened at my parents' house and then I had to return to school. Oh boy was the traffic back a bitch. And I was going to find an alternate route but then realized I had no GPS. Mine was on my phone. I shook it off and was like Oh duh maps! Unfortunately I only had a Michigan map in my car and I was not going through said state.

However, what I want to say is that I realized just how dependent on technology we have become. Don't get me wrong; I love indoor plumbing and central air/heating and freezers and cars. But as I was stuck in traffic trying to see if I could use my map at all, I looked around at the cars around me and saw everyone on a phone, watching a movie, or their GPS out. And I understand some people need a gadget directing them. My father needs one (and no seriously he does. Without one he would drive around aimlessly on his "shortcut" for hours before admitting he's lost. Men). But maps are useful too.

How would we survive without the internet? What would we do without laptops? Or xbox? How could we remain calm without vibrating heated massaging recliners? Or heated blankets? Or cell phones???
     And it isn't just the young generations that are adapting so quickly to the new gadgets and technology that is constantly being revealed. Most people who are younger than the retiring age (which is getting older and older) are getting used to the normality of all these advances. Hell, my mom is now able to text up a storm. There are days out playing MW3 and acting like the dumbass teenagers shouting at the 10 year old who is playing with them.

I know people who tell right and left still with their pointer fingers and thumbs. And others who only use digital clocks to tell the time because analog is confusing. I'm sure I know people who if you took away their phone or internet for 2 days, wouldn't know what to do. Especially this young generation.

And I feel bad for these kids. When I was little, I was only allowed an hour on the computer and only when it was raining out. I used to literally be kicked out of the house until dinner time if it was nice outside. If I came in, with the exception to use the bathroom or get something to eat/drink, I would get in trouble! We were outside all the time or inside reading. Gasp! Reading! Now the kids are playing their video games or watching tv. When they go outside, it's to mostly play sports I feel like. And that isn't bad. But where are the kids turning the playground into a pirate ship with their own original characters? No Jack Sparrow. I know there are exceptions to this but it just seems that everyone in double digits has a cell phone, facebook, and some sort of gaming system. It just makes me sad. That it seems the younger generations just won't have the same experience and be so reliant on technology.

Hey. At least I don't need to worry about my phone going off in class.

"Mistakes will be made. You will be blamed."

So this is Christmas...

I get so annoyed with commercialism sometimes. Before Halloween I was in a Target or Walmart and guess what I saw. Fucking Santa. Well I mean he wasn't doing the nasty but he was there nonetheless. It was at least 2 months until Christmas. Also expect a rant around that time too. I have many thoughts on this season and what it has become. But so all of the Christmas decorations started to make their appearances. And once one store starts, they all start. Ornaments started showing up in Kohls. Reindeer in Walgreens. Easily became an eyesore but I could adjust. And yes I adjusted quickly mostly due to the fact I had no car to go to such places. But then the worst happened!!!!!!!!

They started playing the music. Now don't get me wrong, I love Christmas music. But everything has appropriate times. You wouldn't want to hear the Monster Mash song on Valentine's Day would you? Unless you happen to be a large hairy half-man-half-beast thing or other such creature. But before Thanksgiving? It's still autumn! There are still pumpkins out! Are there pumpkins out for the celebration of Christmas? I DON'T THINK SO. So why are there radio stations playing this holiday music nonstop before the birds have been caught, skinned, cleaned, cooked, and eaten?

Now it is after Turkey Day. The day after, my family usually goes and cuts down our tree. The wonderful pine smell and knowing that Thanksgiving is over and the temperature dropping all start to come together to bring everyone in the holiday spirit. That's when it becomes okay to start playing Christmas music. Maybe throw in some other genres for a bit so you don't go overboard, but I encourage breaking out some Winter Wonderland or All I Want For Christmas. Hell, get the Rat Pack and Eartha Kitt going. If you don't know them, you suck.

There is just appropriate timing. Neither radios nor retail corporations seem to understand that. Someone should poke the people in charge of each with candy canes that have just been sucked on on one side so it becomes that awfully sharp point. Teach them a thing or two about selling us that stripped sugar 2 months in advance.

"Every time I find Mr. Right, my husband scares him away."

What are you thankful for?

So I realize it has been a really long time since I have posted anything. I apologize to my (limited) audience. My life has been relatively boring and boring to the point I don't really have anything to rant about. Or if I do have a rant, I don't want the possibility of the involved individual reading it (yes I'm talking just about you). If you think of something that would set me off or I would have an interesting take on, feel free to let me know and I'll jump on it, jump on it.


This little ditty will be just that, a tiny ditty. Unless, of course, I ramble onto another subject. Which is more than likely.


So the holiday season has begun. The first holiday thing I should address is Thanksgiving. Just that. The actually holiday. What does it mean? Why do we celebrate it? What has it become?  Well I can tell you right damn now what it has become. It's about watching football and preparing for the day after.  Families and friends get together to organize games to toss around the ole pigskin. They gather in front of the tv to watch the lions and the dolphins play. The men (for the most part) have taken over the holiday with the sport. But the women, oh goodness, the women. Most ladies like to shop. Most everyone likes deals (preview?) on their purchases. Oh wait is there a day just for getting up and going shopping and getting reduced prices on many things?! Black Friday?? Oh and lots of women look forward to hitting the mall then? Between the football and people staying up late getting ready to go literally fight people- people got pepper sprayed at Walmart again-  to get special electronics many people overlook what Thanksgiving is really all about. 


The nice way to think of Thanksgiving is that you are reminded to think about what you are grateful for in this life. The 99% can be thankful they have clothes to wear or money to buy materials to make signs or food to put in their tummies or that they can walk to get an aspirin.  Most people are thankful for the people in their life. That's how I am. I am so blessed to have the people in my life who have consistently been there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on or laughing my ass off. We are also blessed for the opportunities in our lives (Wow this is starting to sound like an uplifting entry. Just give it a minute). Because when you think about it, not a lot of people get the same opportunities as people who have internet to read this. You know who else didn't have internet? Native Americans.


So Thanksgiving is based on a friend feast shared between pilgrims and native Americans. I'm actually not sure if the 'n' is always supposed to be capitalized even. Honestly, I couldn't give a damn. Not because I am unable to, but because I just don't want to. Anyways... So the picture we idiots are delivered is that the pilgrims landed in the new world. They ran into Indians and they had a few scuffles. But soon after (Pocahontas and John Smith --what a white name-- got it on), the two cultures became friends and shared farming and hunting information. And lived happily ever after. And if you know anything about me, you know happily ever after is a joke. What really happened? There were bloody battles between the two since the whites were in the mindset that they were obviously superior. They had better weaponry and religion, what more could be needed? Let's say, just for the Hell of it, that there was a delicious dinner shared. Well aren't us whiteys great friends. You teach us to farm and here we come to stab you in the back with disease. That's right. We are going to wipe out your population with diseases you've never had to encounter before. Oh and while we are at it, now that we have the hang of things, let's force you further inland and we will just take all your lands off your hands. What do you say about that? Thanks for the land, stupid.
         So really, all this make believe dinner is is a prelude to killing your new "friend" and looting their property. But hey, it's not like the white man knows any other way to accomplish things right?


"I tried to get rid of my headache but he came back."

How to get extra time to take an exam

So I'm listening to some of my lectures for class as I am studying for an exam this week. And my professor mentioned something that triggered a rant. She said something about if you need extra time to take the exam, you need to remind her before each exam for her to set it up.

                             WOAH NOW.

I have experienced something like this before in my time in college. Last year, I woke up in the early hours of the morning on the day of a chemistry exam and ran to the bathroom where I instantly became sick. I spent the rest of the night in the bathroom throwing up. Not sure what was causing my illness -- food poisoning, 24 flu, maybe even stress-- I immediately sent an email to my professor that I was sick. I didn't want her to think I was just skipping out and I was prepared/wanted to take my exam and get it over with.  She just told me to keep her posted.
      Mid-afternoon I was feeling better but still wasn't sure what had gotten me sick. So I sent her an email explaining that. Also that I didn't know if it was a good idea for me to be in a crowded lecture hall taking the exam with a couple hundred other kids. Like what if I needed to go run to the bathroom in the middle of the exam to puke my brains out? Or what if what I had wasn't just from eating bad meat or the 24 hour bug? What if I infected the entire class? I didn't want to be worrying about that while I was focusing on organic chemistry.  So she said that there would be a small group of kids in a separate room that she would add me to. I was grateful and was at the room early to find 6 other kids there. I recognized one from my lab. She liked to run her mouth about how she has ADD and this and that. Real annoying bimbo. But so as the time approached to start the exam, the proctor told us each how much time we had to take the exam.  Apparently being ill gives you can extra 20 minutes to take an exam. And if you have ADD. or something like that, you can be awarded up to an extra hour.

                       SERIOUSLY?!?

How on Earth is that fair to anyone? If you have really bad ADD. you are probably on some sort of medication to help you. And there are plenty of people who are borderline and don't have meds and they do just damn fine. Isn't college supposed to help you get ready for the real world too? Are you going to go up to your boss and be like "Hey so I have this learning disability so I need you to give me a couple extra days to finish this. Okay thanks." Yeah right. You're gonna get fired on the spot. So suck it and and figure out to how to accommodate this. Most of us have. We find our weaknesses and learn to work around them. Hell, otherwise we all would say we have ADD or ADHD or something like that. Who doesn't want extra time for an exam?

Also, some bitch chose the stall right next to me again. I chose the last one. There were 2 perfectly good stalls to chose from beside the one you picked idiot.

"Who lit the fuse on your tampon?"

Beware of bundling

Let me preface this with regards to the last post. I do not dislike everyone in the Greek system. I have plenty of friends who are in houses and to each their own, right? I just believe the institution of the Greek system is flawed. I mean for Pete's sake, what service do they actually do for their philanthropies? Don't they just have a special function and then donate money somewhere? Do they ever go do physical work? Regardless, I'm not hating on all the people in it. Just they way it is run. Don't mistake the two.

Now, I understand this is a lot of blogging in a small concentration. But apparently my fingers are eager to be put to work. As in typing. Fool. So here is yet another post for reading material.

It's freezing out. Almost quite literally. I know it was down to 32 degrees over night and the high here today is something like 42 degrees. Which I would describe as quite chilly. But my favorite thing about this time of year, as the transition from 60 degree sunny days go to the frigid 20 degree snowy days, is watching the changing of outfits people wear. It is always simple to tell who is not from the area. Because once it hits 50 outside, they start breaking out heavier coats. Not like a fleece jacket, like a COAT.
      Bro, you don't want to be doing that yet. If you are going to start wearing your winter coat now, then what are you going to do when it is going to be 3 degrees out with windchill? Unless you got a real slim winter coat to hide under that poofy one, you are going to freeze your dick off. And I know people who had that happen. Well his dick didn't really fall off he just was driving that struggle bus all winter.
      That's why I have a rule about when I can start wearing winter coats and things. I don't put one on until it is under 40 degrees. That way my body can properly adapt to the change in temperature in an appropriate gradient-like manner. So I don't randomly realize I have no way to dress any warmer when it drops 20 degrees more except carry around my own heater. The key is layers people. Like you international and southern kids. Yeah especially you warm state people. My gramma turns on her heat when it drops to 50 and she's from Florida. I know how you guys work. But so wear a t-shirt with a hoodie or warm cardigan and then a fleece jacket on top. Maybe make it a long sleeve t-shirt if you are really that cold. Go ahead and have a hat on hand or a cute scarf. But save the really heavy stuff for when the temperature drops like a stripper on a pole. Fast, but not terribly unexpected.

"For one person, you're a whole lot of ugly."

Greek-be-gone!

CAUTION: If you are in the Greek system, this might NOT be for you. This will be offensive. No apologizes. Also this is extremely long (that's what he said). So set aside some time.
           I come from a long line of GDIs on my mother's side. She made shirts proclaiming it. Dad's side doesn't count. Grandma was a Chi-O like that's a lot to brag about (My apologize Nonna).

The Greek system is so completely and entirely flawed. Don't even pretend that it isn't sexist or have superiority complexes attached to it. And I understand it is different at every school, some don't have houses or they have rules about how big the houses can be and shit like that. But it doesn't matter. Frats are always the one having the parties because they are the ones allowed to have alcohol. At least here, sororities must be dry houses. Regardless of if the girls in it are of age or not, not booze aloud in the house. So what must these poor girls do? They dress is skyscraper heels and booty hugging skirts and dresses. Pull them boobies up and push those tits together for maximum cleavage. If you can wear less clothes, well I hear it's recommended. Especially if you are single. Especially if you want a lot to drink. Especially if you're a slut. So essentially these "sisters" have to whore out their bodies in order to get drinks. Since the system favors men and their ability to  manipulate women, they obviously deserve greater privileges. Like being allowed to have alcohol in their houses. In fact, I do believe that they have a special fund just for alcohol for their parties. Like it comes out of their dues that they owe at the beginning of the year or semester or whatever. So they prepare to get bitches drunk and get some action. Unless you're in one of the fucking weird houses. Or you're just a creepy weirdo. But I can see you still getting laid because you'll just stay on the prowl for those blackout girls. Or the slutty looking ones. You know that show Fashion Police? You know when they play the game Celebrity or Streetwalker? It's like that but Sorority girl or Streetwalker? Wait who are we kidding. They dress the same when they go out at night to their functions.

Besides the whole whoring yourself (thanks for the inspiration Tooth Fairy), the girls are NOT allowed to let boys spend the night. At least the sororities that I know girls in don't let boys spend the night. Anywhere in the house. Some even have rules that they can't stay past like 10 pm unless they are on the main floor. So let's say you're a sorostitute sorority girl and your boyfriend goes to a different school. He wants to come visit you because he loves you or some shit like that. Well now. Isn't that quite the predicament. Where shall he stay?? Does he know anyone else at your school?? No? Oh well that blows doesn't it. But bitch if you ain't talked to me and my roommates in over a year do not think we will be putting him and you up for the weekend. So don't bother asking again if we have room for you. Yes we have room. We just don't like you. So shut up. But good luck finding a place to hide your man toy.

I heard this terrible radio commercial the other day. Made me want to gag. Something about how everyone should rush and join the system because some high percentage of Congress was Greek in college. Oh yeah? That's great. Explains why our country is being run so fabulously. Glad to know we have people in our government who can make reasonable decisions regarding the lives of this vast super world police. What with all those sex scandals and secretly gay Congressmen. Wait all those men were in frats? Wow that makes so much sense now...       Well what about those of us who didn't buy our friends and get forced to become friends with 70 people only after basically stalking them to learn everything about them? Sorry, I can just make friends on my own.  Regardless, imagine if everyone did decide to rush. HA. Like those superficial bitches would let half of us in.
                   And yes we all know you are superficial. Don't try to deny it. During rush week I know that only the most attractive girls get chosen to meet the potential pledges. If you aren't beautiful enough, you don't get asked to participate. You get excused from participating. That gives the impression that everyone in that house is super gorgeous so if you get a bid, then you must be super gorgeous too. And I know frats that require the guys to workout a certain amount per week. That way they can be as fit as they can be so they don't turn flabby. Only the hottest allowed in this house, huh?
      Because everyone is always working on the perfect beach body and wearing those skanky ass clothes to make them look uber sexy, of course they are the best, right? How could they not be? I mean there is no way to be on top unless you are in the Greek system, right? I've had frat boys straight up end a conversation with me because they found out I was GDI. In case you don't know what that means, it stands for God Damn Independent. How fucking rude is that? I'm sorry. I apparently am not worthy of your attention for a freaking conversation, sire. Please, I am just a plain peasant who cannot imagine to compare to a girl in a sorority. And not every girl should be assumed to be in a sorority. For example:
              DG's TRY ASKING THE NAVY IF THEY WERE IN DELTA GAMMA AND SEE WHAT THAT BEEFY DUDE REPLIES (hopefully with his fist).

The Greek system will (literally) beat your ass (hazing) and then soak you and your liver in alcohol on repeat. And then oppress you and keep you without power because once women start to stand up for themselves they become dangerous and no white man ever supported a strong intelligent woman. Like In My Big Fat Greek Wedding (Greekness forgiven) the mom says something like: The man may be the head but the wife is the neck and can turn the head anyway she wants. So I prefer to be my own person, to be independent, and do what I want when I want. I don't need someone telling me what I should wear and how I should act. I left home for a reason.

Besides. Why would I ever want to live in a house full of girls? Like 60 girls. So catty and gossipy and lyke omg do I need to lose weight? My thighs are looking so fat. I weight like 130 pounds this is so gross. Do you think he really likes me? Oh my gawd he's so cute I hope he likes me.  Seriously. I might vomit I cannot handle that in the slightest. 

But seriously. GDI is the way to be clearly.

"A woman's place is in your face. Deal with it."

I overanalyze stupid things.

Have you ever thought about where different phrases come from? Or actually just thought about them and what the heck do they actually mean?
     Like "Cool as a cucumber." That's obvious. Cucumbers are kept in the fridge so obviously they should be pretty chill. And since being "cool" or "chill" has become more than just a description of temperature, it sort of makes sense. It just transfers from temperature readings to how awesome or relaxed a person is. Which should normally be a compliment. I mean what if it only stood for describing the lack of warmth? In the middle of winter people would go around describing themselves like cucumbers then. Like out on the mountain slopes after an embarrassing wipe out when they thought they could handle going down the trick park and a huge jump and realized partway through they can't handle the last huge jump but they are going too fast to stop and so you just brace yourself as you get massive air but aren't prepared and you hit the ground and skis fly off their feet and you get a lot of snow down your pants and in your sleeves and in your face as you roll downhill and you just sit there dumbfounded waiting for daddy to come help you walk back up the hill to find your skis and your poles... Yeah then you'd be really "cool as a cucumber." I'll tell you right now, you'll be as chill as a tomato (let's make that one happen).

But really what is it with all these food expressions making it into conversation? My boss at home used to say "Oh honey. I am fresh like lettuce." Well i hope to God the lettuce is fresh if you are eating it. Floppy lettuce just ain't no good, Cisco. But then there are those fresh to death. So I guess they are also lettuce to death. Mmmm. Crunchy.

And then there is "cool beans." Think about it. Who the Hell wants cold beans? There ain't nothing great about cool beans. You put them in a pot of water and heat them up. You reheat them in the microwave. You cook them and eat them warm or hot. You don't see people going around putting their beans in the freezer to cool them off and then nomming on that. It's just not normal. But the expression is supposed to be a good thing, right? Like: "Hey we're going to the movies tonight." "Cool beans. I'll see you there."  Isn't that a good thing? It's not like unnamed person 2 is upset to be going to the movies. But I'd be pretty damn upset if I was brought cool beans with my meal (and then I'd blog about the ungrateful worthless being who can't even bring me warm beans with my entree. Sorry mom). So I'm not sure about that expression. And I don't care to look it up. So don't tell me to because I will say something rude back.

I just don't understand how all these vegetables are being compared to humans. Are we really nothing more than a refrigerated bunch of grapes?

"The road to hell is paved with chocolate donuts."

HA! Hitched at 20.

So there are some things that I think should never happen. Specifically, I mean marriage. And very specifically I mean marriage before the legal age of drinking. I mean come on people. Don't you want to be able to drink that sweet (or actually probably more dry and bitter-ish) champagne once you tie the damn knot? Don't you want to be able to relax with a glass of wine after the long day? Or when you go on a honeymoon (you probably can't afford since you aren't in the real world yet) and chill on a beach or cruise or mountain or something and being to have a drink with your darling precious newly beloved soul mate for life and forever more? Gag me. But really if you can't legally drink once you're married (and busy becoming a baby factory. Someone smother me if that ever becomes me) and coming home to a nagging wife or disrespectful husband, why not just wait? You know you're gonna need a drink.

But seriously people, why do you think getting hitched before you're 21 is a good idea. Didn't some study somewhere important show that brains are NOT fully developed until 22 or something? Do you really think that making one of the biggest decisions of your life before then is wise?

I know a few people who got married at 20. Well guess what. They ain't married anymore!! And I get that in smaller rural towns it's common and the norm for people to get married young. Whatever. I still stand by what I said but I guess with the production of moonshine there, it doesn't matter the age. They gonna drink anyways. Or you got knocked up and got married to smooth over the fact you had pre-marital sex. WOAH. Imagine that. I think that's not the most intelligent response to the situation either. Marriage does not solve your problems. I mean you could have the wedding of your dreams and then the divorce of your nightmares just months/years/weeks later (cough cough Kim K cough cough).

Let me just clarify and say being engaged before 21 is fine. That's just phase 2 of a relationship. It's not legally binding and the wedding may never happen. Look at Pam and Roy (Office reference). They were engaged for years and never got married. Thank God too because I fucking love Jim and Pam. Like you have no idea. Ah but I digress. Engagement prior to 21 years of age is fine with me. Because you can always call it off when your brain is done developing. Or once you reach that stage and know it is truly right.

But I mean really... The divorce rate is something like 50% isn't it? So why not just wait? So you can get smashed at your reception when your stupid cousin starts hitting on every guy there. She always makes a fool of herself now, doesn't she.



Girl look at that body. Girl look at that body. Girl look at that body. I, I got tentacles! Get it Sharktopus.

"You're only young once but you can be immature forever."