Bikini faux pas

Since I have grown up quite the tomboy, I don't understand the need to have pushup swimsuits. I don't, in fact, understand a lot of designs on swimsuits for women. Men don't really have this issue, they can wear one of approximately three types of swim trunks. Which is lucky for them. But women are exposed to so many  unlimited styles of swim wear, let alone the different designs on them. Here are the things I don't understand.

1. Sequins. Sure a few here or there look nice. But are you trying to do anything in this swimsuit? For example, swim? Play beach volleyball? Do anything than show off your body? When the swimsuit is covered with sequins, I feel like it isn't conducive for activity. It seems to me that these would get ruined rather quickly if you planned on doing anything other than lay on a beach towel.

2. All white swimsuits. I understand  that it will make you look more tan. I get that being tan is a big deal in American society because it is considered to be beautiful to be consistently brown or orange. I don't understand tanning (but that's another post) so I understand wanting to appear tanner than you are. But there is something my mama taught me when I was younger and will never forget. It can be awful if it is during that time of the month. Constantly being worried if your white suit will actually not be so white after all. Maybe if you have a plethora of bikinis it would be okay, but when you only have a few (such as myself) then an all white swimsuit is not a staple.

3. Super padded bikini tops. Or just any swim wear top. Yeah let's put those titties out there! But seriously you are already essentially in longerie. That's pretty much putting your breasts out there. Why do you need to have a pushup on in addition to that? How is that functional? Ever tried going down a water slide and plunging into water very fast and coming up to the air and the ladies aren't covered anymore? Pushups don't help that. They make it worse. Playing volleyball on the beach? Better not jump or dive unless you want to flash the other team. I can understand a little padding but have seen some styles this season already with more padding than fabric covering the boobs.

You see I'm not a girl who owns 10+ swimsuits. I have a modest amount and mix it up when I need to. I'm never at a place where I need a new swimsuit each day of the week. I'm an active girl and like my swimsuit to be function rather than sexy. And the bikinis that are only about the sexy, then maybe they shouldn't be called swimsuits. Since you clearly aren't going to do any actual swimming in them. Just call them beach wear or something. You aren't fooling anyone, we know you are just trying to enhance your nearly naked body.