Touch down in the friend zone

The friend zone. Conversations about this mythical land have been coming up a lot recently in my life and it's made me start to think. What is this zone and how do you get put in it? Is there a way out? Is it ever mutual?

I feel like the "friend zone" is something that only girls use. Like the whole, you are such a good guy and I know that and I love everything about you: you're funny, and nice, and a good listener, and respectful. I just wish all that was in a different body that I was sexually attracted to. Or one that has manners. Or doesn't make butt sex jokes every 5 minutes.  Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe boys do this too. They have a friend that they think is fucking awesome but would never let anything happen with because they don't want it to happen, not because they are worried about what would be the result if something did happen.

But that's just it. The nice guys get thrown into the "friend zone." In my experience, and the experiences of my friends, there are 2 types of guys: ones forward enough and let you know they want you straight from the start and the ones who wait around because they don't know how they feel and wouldn't want to destroy what relationship you have (which is just friends). These more cautious fellows tend to get passed over more often because of this. Which isn't fair I know but sorry boutcha.

I'm not sure if there is a way out of this. I've never seen someone (in real life) go from "Oh we're just friends" to "We're in love" without the thought that there could be something having passed through the individuals' minds before. It's hard to make that comeback from being a nonsexual object. Unless you both are quite drunk and someone takes off their clothes. Then maybe the possibility will arise. But I don't think so.  The couples that become... coupley... after they had been friends were never just friends. At least one of the people had thought about something more or had a naughty dream about the other.  They just don't always want to admit it (sober).

Do guys have a friend zone? They might say they do, but if given the opportunity for more with one of their lady friends, would they not take it? Because don't, generally, people hang out with others who are of approximately the same attractiveness? So if all your man friends think you are at least cute already and you have him a window of opportunity, wouldn't he jump through that window and onto you?

I think only in a few rare cases is it a mutual placement into this land. Few walk into it together and stay there. But it's nice when you do. But for most people, it's full of wonder on where your relationship -friends or could be more- stands. And what to do about it. I still have those issues and they haunt me EVERY day. (Clearly a lie. Nothing haunts me. And I don't analyze these things.)

"Do what to myself? Yeah, right If only I could."