Greek-be-gone!

CAUTION: If you are in the Greek system, this might NOT be for you. This will be offensive. No apologizes. Also this is extremely long (that's what he said). So set aside some time.
           I come from a long line of GDIs on my mother's side. She made shirts proclaiming it. Dad's side doesn't count. Grandma was a Chi-O like that's a lot to brag about (My apologize Nonna).

The Greek system is so completely and entirely flawed. Don't even pretend that it isn't sexist or have superiority complexes attached to it. And I understand it is different at every school, some don't have houses or they have rules about how big the houses can be and shit like that. But it doesn't matter. Frats are always the one having the parties because they are the ones allowed to have alcohol. At least here, sororities must be dry houses. Regardless of if the girls in it are of age or not, not booze aloud in the house. So what must these poor girls do? They dress is skyscraper heels and booty hugging skirts and dresses. Pull them boobies up and push those tits together for maximum cleavage. If you can wear less clothes, well I hear it's recommended. Especially if you are single. Especially if you want a lot to drink. Especially if you're a slut. So essentially these "sisters" have to whore out their bodies in order to get drinks. Since the system favors men and their ability to  manipulate women, they obviously deserve greater privileges. Like being allowed to have alcohol in their houses. In fact, I do believe that they have a special fund just for alcohol for their parties. Like it comes out of their dues that they owe at the beginning of the year or semester or whatever. So they prepare to get bitches drunk and get some action. Unless you're in one of the fucking weird houses. Or you're just a creepy weirdo. But I can see you still getting laid because you'll just stay on the prowl for those blackout girls. Or the slutty looking ones. You know that show Fashion Police? You know when they play the game Celebrity or Streetwalker? It's like that but Sorority girl or Streetwalker? Wait who are we kidding. They dress the same when they go out at night to their functions.

Besides the whole whoring yourself (thanks for the inspiration Tooth Fairy), the girls are NOT allowed to let boys spend the night. At least the sororities that I know girls in don't let boys spend the night. Anywhere in the house. Some even have rules that they can't stay past like 10 pm unless they are on the main floor. So let's say you're a sorostitute sorority girl and your boyfriend goes to a different school. He wants to come visit you because he loves you or some shit like that. Well now. Isn't that quite the predicament. Where shall he stay?? Does he know anyone else at your school?? No? Oh well that blows doesn't it. But bitch if you ain't talked to me and my roommates in over a year do not think we will be putting him and you up for the weekend. So don't bother asking again if we have room for you. Yes we have room. We just don't like you. So shut up. But good luck finding a place to hide your man toy.

I heard this terrible radio commercial the other day. Made me want to gag. Something about how everyone should rush and join the system because some high percentage of Congress was Greek in college. Oh yeah? That's great. Explains why our country is being run so fabulously. Glad to know we have people in our government who can make reasonable decisions regarding the lives of this vast super world police. What with all those sex scandals and secretly gay Congressmen. Wait all those men were in frats? Wow that makes so much sense now...       Well what about those of us who didn't buy our friends and get forced to become friends with 70 people only after basically stalking them to learn everything about them? Sorry, I can just make friends on my own.  Regardless, imagine if everyone did decide to rush. HA. Like those superficial bitches would let half of us in.
                   And yes we all know you are superficial. Don't try to deny it. During rush week I know that only the most attractive girls get chosen to meet the potential pledges. If you aren't beautiful enough, you don't get asked to participate. You get excused from participating. That gives the impression that everyone in that house is super gorgeous so if you get a bid, then you must be super gorgeous too. And I know frats that require the guys to workout a certain amount per week. That way they can be as fit as they can be so they don't turn flabby. Only the hottest allowed in this house, huh?
      Because everyone is always working on the perfect beach body and wearing those skanky ass clothes to make them look uber sexy, of course they are the best, right? How could they not be? I mean there is no way to be on top unless you are in the Greek system, right? I've had frat boys straight up end a conversation with me because they found out I was GDI. In case you don't know what that means, it stands for God Damn Independent. How fucking rude is that? I'm sorry. I apparently am not worthy of your attention for a freaking conversation, sire. Please, I am just a plain peasant who cannot imagine to compare to a girl in a sorority. And not every girl should be assumed to be in a sorority. For example:
              DG's TRY ASKING THE NAVY IF THEY WERE IN DELTA GAMMA AND SEE WHAT THAT BEEFY DUDE REPLIES (hopefully with his fist).

The Greek system will (literally) beat your ass (hazing) and then soak you and your liver in alcohol on repeat. And then oppress you and keep you without power because once women start to stand up for themselves they become dangerous and no white man ever supported a strong intelligent woman. Like In My Big Fat Greek Wedding (Greekness forgiven) the mom says something like: The man may be the head but the wife is the neck and can turn the head anyway she wants. So I prefer to be my own person, to be independent, and do what I want when I want. I don't need someone telling me what I should wear and how I should act. I left home for a reason.

Besides. Why would I ever want to live in a house full of girls? Like 60 girls. So catty and gossipy and lyke omg do I need to lose weight? My thighs are looking so fat. I weight like 130 pounds this is so gross. Do you think he really likes me? Oh my gawd he's so cute I hope he likes me.  Seriously. I might vomit I cannot handle that in the slightest. 

But seriously. GDI is the way to be clearly.

"A woman's place is in your face. Deal with it."