Have you ever thought about where different phrases come from? Or actually just thought about them and what the heck do they actually mean?
Like "Cool as a cucumber." That's obvious. Cucumbers are kept in the fridge so obviously they should be pretty chill. And since being "cool" or "chill" has become more than just a description of temperature, it sort of makes sense. It just transfers from temperature readings to how awesome or relaxed a person is. Which should normally be a compliment. I mean what if it only stood for describing the lack of warmth? In the middle of winter people would go around describing themselves like cucumbers then. Like out on the mountain slopes after an embarrassing wipe out when they thought they could handle going down the trick park and a huge jump and realized partway through they can't handle the last huge jump but they are going too fast to stop and so you just brace yourself as you get massive air but aren't prepared and you hit the ground and skis fly off their feet and you get a lot of snow down your pants and in your sleeves and in your face as you roll downhill and you just sit there dumbfounded waiting for daddy to come help you walk back up the hill to find your skis and your poles... Yeah then you'd be really "cool as a cucumber." I'll tell you right now, you'll be as chill as a tomato (let's make that one happen).
But really what is it with all these food expressions making it into conversation? My boss at home used to say "Oh honey. I am fresh like lettuce." Well i hope to God the lettuce is fresh if you are eating it. Floppy lettuce just ain't no good, Cisco. But then there are those fresh to death. So I guess they are also lettuce to death. Mmmm. Crunchy.
And then there is "cool beans." Think about it. Who the Hell wants cold beans? There ain't nothing great about cool beans. You put them in a pot of water and heat them up. You reheat them in the microwave. You cook them and eat them warm or hot. You don't see people going around putting their beans in the freezer to cool them off and then nomming on that. It's just not normal. But the expression is supposed to be a good thing, right? Like: "Hey we're going to the movies tonight." "Cool beans. I'll see you there." Isn't that a good thing? It's not like unnamed person 2 is upset to be going to the movies. But I'd be pretty damn upset if I was brought cool beans with my meal (and then I'd blog about the ungrateful worthless being who can't even bring me warm beans with my entree. Sorry mom). So I'm not sure about that expression. And I don't care to look it up. So don't tell me to because I will say something rude back.
I just don't understand how all these vegetables are being compared to humans. Are we really nothing more than a refrigerated bunch of grapes?
"The road to hell is paved with chocolate donuts."
Like out on the mountain slopes after an embarrassing wipe out when they thought they could handle going down the trick park and a huge jump and realized partway through they can't handle the last huge jump but they are going too fast to stop and so you just brace yourself as you get massive air but aren't prepared and you hit the ground and skis fly off their feet and you get a lot of snow down your pants and in your sleeves and in your face as you roll downhill and you just sit there dumbfounded waiting for daddy to come help you walk back up the hill to find your skis and your poles... Yeah then you'd be really "cool as a cucumber."
ReplyDeleteThis sentence (I was impressed) is wonderful, Kate. Cool beans. Also that is from some show back in the 80's or something I think. 100% ready for the extremely rude response. In fact, I'd love to start talking to you again even if it is rude, especially after reading these. It's been too long, and I miss the opinionated awesome-ness that is you. Next time you're on Facebook or Skype we should chat. I wanted to be the first comment though, obviously the most important reason for this.