Dec 2, 2011

This is what you should look forward to.

There are certain classes I'm not sure why I really show up. I learn the material better on my own and the class doesn't take attendance. So the ways to entertain myself involve the interwebs. So since I'm so busy being a good student and going to class, there is no need for me to sit near the front. In fact, I sit in the very last row that has an actual table so the professor can't see me napping or on my laptop all the time. So my favorite thing to do on campus is to expose the parents and up and coming college kids the truth about college.

Since my class is in a large lecture hall, tour groups often come through the back to see what the classes are like. I like to make sure I have my laptop open. To something not my email and not class notes. Preferably Facebook, Twitter, some blog, or some random game site like deadwhale.com. Then I like to make sure that I'm on my phone. Maybe texting, maybe playing words with friends, probably checking my horoscope. Not that I believe that stuff, but sometimes it coincides with my life and I find it interesting. But the tour group just stands behind me as I pay minimal attention to the professor and do my own thing.

Another thing that is fun, but I recommend to do pretty much only when it is warm out, is to dress up and interrupt the tours outside. Last year I decided to bring two light sabers down to keep in my apartment. EXCELLENT CHOICE, I know. And one of my favorite friends had sent me a Luke and Leia shirt for my birthday. Another friend has a wookie shirt. When we were bored on a Friday in April, we knew what to do. We put on our Star Wars shirts, grabbed a light saber, and headed to campus. I played the theme song off my phone and kept it in my back pocket. We just ran through classes with multiple doors having epic battles. We ran through the union, even the area where kids normally sleep on couches. They had an awesome awakening. But when we were outside, we would relax so we weren't sprinting all over campus. Until we saw tour groups. Then we sprinted a battle through the middle. We disturbed a picnic. It was great.

The other way to leave a great impression on the new kids is to be in class hammered or obviously on the strugglebus. Nothing says college like showing up to class with a flask right? And it doesn't matter what school you're at, every university has those great students who sneak a beer or mimosa into lecture. Or wear you're drunk/hungover glasses with a huge bottle of water or other hydrating beverage and just collapse in the back of class. Nothing leaves a better impression with soon to be acceptable college alcoholics than getting away with sleeping in class. That way you can still tell your folks you go to class while still remaining a part of the drunken shenanigans.



                      WELCOME TO COLLEGE BETCH.
This image I provide you should prepare your most important organ for the years to come. Of course I'm talking about your liver.



"Who says being bitchy isn't fun?"

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