Oh drunk people.

So one of my favorite things to do is fuck with drunk people. Especially when they are super drunk or blacked out and I am sober. The dumb shit they say is hilarious.

I dedicate this post to the silly ho that is my roommate. A few weeks ago was her 21st birthday and so she went out at midnight. So yes I messed around with her as soon as she came back from the bars approximately 90 minutes later. But I dick around with all friends when they are intoxicated because they have stupid funny responses.

I find that drunk kids are unusually naive. Even if they are very stubborn and realistic when sober, they tend to believe things more easily which makes it so much more fun to converse with them. I lie to them all the time and tell extreme stories to see how much I can get them to believe. Which is a lot. Fucking idiots.

But my favorite moments are when it becomes a no pants party. Such was the case last weekend. I was in my friends' room with his roommates and a few other people talking and telling stories. When I walked out into the main area of the apartment, I noticed people laughing (not surprising) but then boys quickly pulling up their pants. We joked around about that and then oops there they go again. Hey man, nice blue boxers. The funny thing about this is that the people dropping they pants often forget to take them off completely and have them around their ankles. This provides perfect opportunities to get them to run/dance/hop/etc. and watch them fall flat on their faces. Of course these are all people I am friends with so we don't mind a good chuckle amongst us as long as no one gets seriously hurt (and for the record, I have great first aid abilities should it come down to that). Well, one of them was a guy with a busted leg anyways. Like he uses a cane (but I'm too nervous to ask what happened that he needs it) and so its just more humorous. I also slapped him, but neither of us remember why.

Funny enough, I've walked into that apartment before to find people playing kings in their underwear. Boy oh boy did they turn pink. I just laughed my ass off. I love when people get on that level. It's just anatomy guys, we've all seen it before. So don't worry.

But the worst drunk people are the people who want to drink away a person. Like if someone is in a fight with their significant other or something. Because when they reach the level that is required for people to go into no-pants parties they go into whining about their life mode. And won't stop. Suddenly everything is about them and their problems and we all want to hear about it. And when we are talking, it must be about them. But it's always really exaggerated things or unrealistic situations but still they think it's all plausible due to their drunkenness. I hear it from boys and I hear it from girls.

If you ever plan on pulling one of these on me, give me fair warning so I can get to your level so I can bitch with you. If you're going to take off your pants, no warning is needed. Some surprises are just fucking hilarious.