Things men shouldn't do: Part 1

This is an anti-men rant. No use trying to beat around the bush (where did that saying come from anyhow?) and be mysterious about what I might be talking about today or any bullshit like that. So I just said it. Well maybe not anti-man, but they sure do some annoying shit sometimes. So here it goes:

Things men shouldn't do

1. Leave the seat up.  I mean this may be a subject that has been beaten to death but there are some things that just really need to be fixed. If it's in a man apartment, fine. It is your place and we can deal with it however gross it is. But when you step into a lady's apartment you better shape up. When you walked into the bathroom did you see the seat up? No. Because we are hygienic. Yes. Hygienic. Because guess what, there is back splash and no one wants that in their bathroom. Also, as much as it pains me to talk about it, there is like dried piss on the underside of toilet seats. Why the fuck would you want to see that? Huh? Why would you purposefully leave the seat up forcing the next unsuspecting victim to view that and then have to put the seat back down? Mostly it's just rude. I mean you are in a house where the occupants clearly have manners and leave the seat down and you are in their place so how about you just clean up your act and put the fucking seat back down. Yes I mean to put a period there to emphasize that it is not a request be actually a demand. Because I will call you out on it.

2. Talk about the miracle of childbirth.  Sure, go ahead and talking about having children and how it is such a blessing and everything. Let us know how you think it is amazing how we can create life (just like the big man up top and every other living creature) and watch the process as the cells come together to form a functional life form. But the act of giving is not something you get to have a real say in. You wanna know how all the dads I know acted in the delivery room? THEY ALMOST FAINTED. Yes that includes my father during my birth. Some nurse had to grab him before he collapsed. Miracle my ass. Bro, you are not pushing a 9 pound thing out of any of your orifices. Does a miracle include shitting all over the delivery table? Or pissing yourself? Is it beautiful to watch your wife/girlfriend/one night stand scream in pain for hours while you just sit there and are helpless to do anything but watch? No. It's gross. It's sweaty and bloody and messy. And maybe at the end when the baby has taken it's first breath and the nurse has cleared the amniotic sac out of its mouth, then it becomes a beautiful mess. But the actual act of childbirth is something reserved for women, and women alone, to give their opinions on for it being a "miracle" or whatever. Only those who can experience something can give their opinion on it. I've never climbed a mountain so I couldn't tell you how glorious it is or how it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would. It would offend those who actually have done it.
     Just because the world has been primarily run by men does not mean that they know best or that they know everything all the time. So shut up about the shit you can't know because you sound like a fucking tool and we hate you.


This is all I have right now but I know I will have more to rant about. Since our world is half occupied by my male counterparts I am sure that I will have more to say in future posts. So I deem this Part 1. Who knows how many parts there will be? Maybe there will be a post of Things Men Should Do. I think I'll start new notes on my phone for this...